Page Title

               Myths vs. Facts
                                                               Next Steps, Inc.
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Each year, more than 1,000,000 women seek medical assistance
for injuries caused by battering.

Myth #1 Domestic violence is not common but is rare.

FACT: Battering is extremely common. The FBI estimates that a woman is beaten every 7.4
seconds in the United States.

Myth #2 Domestic violence occurs only in poor, poorly educated, minority, or
“dysfunctional”families. It could never happen to anyone I know.

FACT: There are doctors, ministers, psychologists, police officers, and other professionals
who beat their partners. Battering crosses every racial,financial, cultural, and
socioeconomic group as well as educated and respectable families and relationships.
Approximately half of the couples in this country experience violence at some time in
their relationship. You are more likely to be assaulted by an intimate partner than by a
stranger.

Myth #3 Battering is about couples getting into a brawl on the weekend, beating
each other up, and totally disrupting the neighborhood.

FACT: In domestic assaults, one partner is beating, intimidating, and terrorizing the other on
an ongoing basis. It is NOT “mutual combat” or merely two people in a fist fight. It is
one person dominating and controlling the other.

Myth #4 The problem is not really woman abuse; it is spouse abuse. Women are
just as violent as men.

FACT: In over 95% of domestic assaults, the man is the perpetrator. This fact makes many of
us uncomfortable, but is no less true because of that discomfort. To end domestic violence, we
must scrutinize why it is men who are usually violent in partnerships. We must examine the
historic and legal permission that men have been given to be violent in general, and to be
violent towards their wives and children specifically. There are much fewer cases in which a
woman batters a man.

Myth #5 When there is violence in the family, all members of the family are
participating in the dynamic. Therefore, all must change for the violence to
stop.

FACT: Only the perpetrator has the ability to stop the violence. Many women who are
battered make numerous attempts to change their personal behavior in hopes that this
will stop the abuse. This does not work. Changes in the family members’ behaviors will
not cause or influence the batterer to be non-violent.

Myth #6 Batterers are crazy.

FACT: An extremely small percentage of batterers are mentally ill. The vast majority seem
completely normal, and are often charming, persuasive, and rational. The major difference
between them and others is that they use force and intimidation to control their partners.
Battering is a behavioral choice.

Myth #7 Domestic violence is usually a one time event, an isolated incident.

FACT: Battering is a pattern, a reign of force and terror. Once violence begins in a relationship,
it escalates and becomes more frequent and severe over a period of time. Battering is NOT just
one physical attack. It is a number of tactics — intimidation, threats, economic deprivation,
psychological and sexual abuse — used repeatedly. Physical violence is one of those tactics.
Experts have compared methods used by batterers to those used by terrorists to brainwash
hostages.

Myth #8 Victims of battering always stay in violent relationships.

FACT: Many victims of battering leave their abusive partners permanently, and despite many
obstacles, succeed in building a life free of violence. Almost all battering victims leave at least
once. The perpetrator dramatically escalates the violence when the victim leaves, or tries to do
so, because it is necessary for the perpetrator to reassert control and ownership. However, many
do break free and ultimately become very active advocates.

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                 Statistics obtained from "The Women’s Health Data Book.

Disclaimer
Results are not typical, as we recognize that we cannot reach every one. However, we will do
everything we can to make a positive impact in the
lives of those we serve.