Page Title

  Frequently Asked Questions
                                               Next Steps, Inc.
                                               7441 Poe Street
                                           Detroit, MI 48206
                                              313-870-9790
                                            313-870-9791 (fax)

        Your destiny will be determined by your ...Next Steps!!!
                                              Copyright ©2006

Q.    What services can Next Steps, Inc. offer to help me?

A.     Next Steps, Inc. offers intervention, individual counseling, support groups, and
       workshops. We also provide referral services.

Q.    I have no money, would you still be able to help me?

A.     Yes. The lack of finances will not be a barrier to obtaining services.

Q.     Does Next Steps Inc. offer a place to stay if I need one?

A.     At this time, we do not have these services available. However, our plan is to have
       available housing for our clients in the near future.

Q.     My family has deserted me because I have continually gone back to my
        boyfriend. What can I do to rectify this situation?

A.     When individuals remain in abusive relationships, they do so at the risk of alienating
       family members. This may be due in part that the family has probably repeatedly
       stepped in, only for you to return to your abuser. After so long, the family may feel
       like “what’s the use?” More likely than not, your family will be there for support
       when you are "truly" ready to leave the situation.

Q.     How do I go about getting a restraining order?

A.      In order to obtain a restraining order, you must first report the abuse to the police
        department in your neighborhood and they will assign you to the domestic violence
        unit. You must also have the abuser served and make a court appearance. This is the
        area where most women retreat. It is quite difficult to prosecute the man you love,
        not to mention the fact that he will use every emotional trick in the book to get you
        to drop the charges.

Q.      Why should I get a restraining order against him? I have heard so many
         times that it won’t do any good?

A.       While it is true that a restraining order does not guarantee protection from the law
         enforcement; it will usually establish a history and may likely result in a faster
         response time.

Q.     Is there any hope for me? Why do I keep making the same mistakes?

A.     Individuals tend to make the same mistakes because they don’t know any other way.
       You can only live what you know. However, there is hope for you if you want it.

Q.    But he said it would not happen again, I want to believe him because it’s
       been a long time since the last time he’s hit me?

A.     Don’t believe it. There may have been a lull in the attacks, however, in most
       instances (if not all) the abuse will usually resume and usually in a much more
       intense manner.

Q.     My husband has said to me so many times “You’re no good.” “You will
        never be anything” and I believed him. Now I don’t have any self
        esteem.   How do I get past this?

A.      You have been stripped of all your dignity and self-esteem. This is referred to as
       "learned helplessness." You need counseling and support to help you through
        your healing process. We can assist you with that.

Q.      My best friend is in a very bad relationship. Her boyfriend beats her
         everyday.   What can I do as her friend?

A.       As her friend, you can let her know that you are aware of the abuse. You can also
         inform her that when she is ready to leave the situation, you will be there for her.

Q.        Are there any warning signs of which I should be aware in a guy with
           whom I am looking to possibly begin a relationship?

A.         Yes, there are several signs, but to name a few, beware of:

a.           Whirlwind romance
b.           Possessiveness
c.           Pushing for you to make a commitment in less than six months
d.           Isolating you from your family/friends
e.           Needs to know your whereabouts at all times

          Any one of these is cause for concern and should signal a red flag.

Q.       My mother was beaten for years by my dad and I vowed that I would
          never let this happen to me. How did I wind up in the same
          situation?

A.        It is normal for girls who observe their mothers’ abuse to grow up only to
          be victims of abuse. Children tend to repeat the behavior they observe in their
          parents.

Q.      I have been a victim of domestic violence and I see the effects it’s
         having on my children. What can I do to help them?

A.       It is highly recommended for any child that has witnessed his/her mother being
         abused to obtain counseling, especially boys. Studies show that 70% of boys who
         witness their mother being abused grow up to become abusive. Most girls grow
         up to be abused. Counseling may serve as a catalyst of prevention.

Q.         Why do I keep going back to him when I know he’s not going to change?

A.         It is easier to remain in an unhealthy relationship, rather than to walk away.
           Fear of the unknown is on of the most powerful sources that keep abused women
           victims. In addition, studies show that other governing factors are: lack of
           support systems, finances, and housing to name a few.

Q.        I feel like there is no hope for me and I don’t think I can heal from all
           I have endured. To whom do I turn?

A.         There is no quick fix for all you have endured and to be quite frank, your
           recovery process will be one that is most challenging. However, there is
           definitely hope for you, as well as help available to you whenever you are ready.



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                       Call us now at: 313-870-9790
                               Or email us at:
                    dmlnextsteps@sbclobal.net

Designed to Make a Difference!!!
Copyright ©2007

Statistics obtained from "The Women’s Health Data Book."